An Open Letter To Those That Love Me…..
I just returned from a meeting with my Life Doula client and his adult children. I had been asked to help him explain his wishes for her care during the final months of life. This always sounds so simple: linear and factual; when in truth it is more a meeting to hold space fore each person as intense emotions are triggered. Beginning an honest discussion about our mortality and imminent death creates this intensity, but also an opening for expressing our inner truth to those closest to us. This is the real challenge.
As I prompt the family with a series of questions to my client, I encouraged him to state his choices for pain control, for where and how he would like to be cared for, as well as his wishes for a celebration of life. These are vital to helping him feel respected, valued, and assured that his vision for his death is upheld where possible. But in this meeting, his need to openly share his deepest self, his true self with his adult children was my deepest commitment.
I wondered as we talked, just how often do we tell those we love about our spirit, about our connection to our eternal selves, to our inner truth? Rarely. That journey is usually a private one left for our own prayers, meditation, rituals, contemplation. For those lucky ones, there may be a circle of others that gather to explore and share this truth regularly. Rarely does this include loved ones.
This is why I’m writing this letter, openly for all to see. My greatest passion is to help others awaken to their spirit, to this reality. And in doing so, for all of us to strengthen and nourish that ever present light within us…to observe ourselves, and to watch it expand. My work with those facing serious or terminal illness and their imminent death is understood as the crucible for this transition. At these times, the clients spirit is palpable, and I’m honored to witness and affirm this. Yet most often, it is held back from family as other memories and emotional issues come to the surface for them alone.
I include myself among those that share our inner truth in small snatches with family. I find I prefer our time together to be joyous family time, and I don’t even consider the deeper side of myself unless something prompts that. In addition, I am blessed to have a very tight circle of spiritual sisters that provide witness to this side of me much more intimately. These are the healers that join me monthly in our commitment to continued spiritual evolution and we’ve been together many years. Today, with my client and his family, I made a promise to myself to begin to share my inner truth more freely, allowing that sacred self to shine more brightly.
As my own vision of my distant death, I hold an image of myself in the usual hospital bed. I am in my own home, surrounded by my daughters and their families. I want to have the assistance that only Hospice professionals can bring to me with their expertise at symptom management. My beloved friend has travelled from Michigan to be my bedside doula, and her sacred presence is cherished by me. My deepest need, though, will be for the healing of my spiritual sisters. They are deeply intuitive and will know without asking what I need. They will care for me through vibrational, energy therapies such as massage, drumming and sound, Reiki, Shamanic Rituals, and others. They will help to escort me from this life through their healing modalities, sharing the vibration of unconditional love with me as I peacefully dissolve into the light.
I want it all. I want the world’s answers through the care from our exceptional medical system, as well as the peace and joy of spiritual healing. I believe this is how it will occur for me and I’ve already told my daughters of these wishes. My healer sisters are to have free access to my bedside alongside my daughters and their families. Beyond that, I trust the process of my transition from this physical reality back to my highest awareness….as I’ve devoted my life’s work in assisting others.